Yes, I’m an asshole
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008I got a note in my car today. Apparently, somebody believed I blocked them in on Scott Street, so they went through the crackhead entrance and left me this note on a City of Berkeley parking receipt:
Asshole - Don’t park on other cars. I’ve been in your car doing stuff! Fuck you
For starters, if you’re going to “do stuff” in my car, you might want to wash yourself afterwards. The crackhead likes to do stuff in my car and god only knows what you came in contact with. Second, what exactly is doing stuff and why do I care? Did you touch your balls to my steering wheel? You should keep a polaroid camera around so you can take pictures of yourself “doing stuff” in my car.
That’s what my friend Joe would do in college. He would take a picture of his balls on his friend’s toothbrush, then mail the picture so that it arrived a few days later and the guy realized that he had been brushing his teeth with a toothbrush that had touched balls.
Yeah, I know. Anyway, I don’t touch my face to anything in my car, so I’m safe.