Mr. Bitter

It’s not often that I spend my time talking to new girls, but tonight I actually was. I was chatting with Regina, a new arrival to our shores, who grew up in the O.C.

My grandmother lived in Garden Grove for a while. Many was the afternoon that my mom sent me and my younger brother out to see a movie to get out of her hair while she helped my grandmother with her kennel.

(Funny story about my grandmother - when we got our first answering machine, it upset her so much when she called that she would scream at the recorded message, “Shut up! Shut up!” and then begin cussing it out. This amused us kids to no end.)

Anyway, we’re chatting and people watching when my buddy Robert comes in with his friend Mark. Robert immediately is in between the two of us, ordering drinks, and carrying on. Now, nothing was going to happen with me and the girl, but still, it was a pretty brazen example of cock-blocking.

But it was a goofy night. Nick, the usual Sunday-night bartender, was off for a rock show. He eventually showed up with his dogs, Rocky (a small bichon looking guy who loves to ramble on the bar) and Moxie. Moxie is a pit bull and the world’s smelliest dog. So later on, I look over to a booth and there’s two girls making out at closing time with Moxie sitting right there. Really, there’s no bigger turn on than lesbians kissing next to a smelly dog. There should be a web site dedicated to it.